Tap Dance!!!!

Its that feeling again
that short step
that graceful recovery
that fall from grace

that knowing feeling
that distant echo
of having gone through it all before
that free fall

hold on.
ave that beauty
to step out of that thick casket
to stop the rot

that one big joke
everyone takes refuge in
To be laughed at
mocked at
till that very concept of self
dissolves in the joy
of being the joker

that cave to hide in
that person to become
those people to love
them feelings to despise

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Homeward Bound!!!!

August 11th
Me landed home after a 2 month break. Home began to feel less like home. It's begun to feel more like an obligation.

I was invited for the TeK Music inaugarals, the club I headed in my final year in college.

I left that night knowing for sure..., I never belonged there. but the memories will forever remain. Of all those midnight practice sessions. Of waking up at 6 with the bass line buzzing in my head, taking a quick shower only to head straight to F-301, to pick my bass guitar, switch on the tape and play to the song.

I must confess, I never felt part of the group. Now after XL, after knowing all the possibilities. I know I'll never get back. Definitely no, not for the music. but like i said, for the friends....

I was dying to get back to Bangalore..... to home. I'm beginning to love the freedom. It may come in the form of a sprouted Aloo lying in the vegetable tray in the kitchen ...but yeah....its...

"that little place called Neverland .... where the world around you ceases to exist......wheres its just you and your dreams...."

So like i was saying .. back to job descriptions.

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Now this is song writing...

Sarah Mclachlan - I will remember you
***********************************************************

I will remember you,
will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first
saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me
I wanna be the one

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside
But we can't be heard

I'm so afraid to love you
But more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had
Oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for
the memories

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August 5th

9:33:36 AM

Finished checking my mail. About to check my new pair of earphones. Creative EP 630. Its all about Noise cancellation.

7:27 AM

Finished a round of foosball. Lost both games. Looking forward to a day of job descriptions for my client. Now how can I make it “fun”???

12:29 PM Melancholies
Do not mistake my reticence for ignorance.
I only wish to help. I might seem distant at first, but am hoping to bring us a lot closer. Forgive me for the tears I planted on your cheeks. The time is now,to come to terms with my own incongruence, to make decisions.
I should have long realised that it was just a silly masquerade in my own private world. I should have realised that the clothes I donned were to be shed sooner or later. Each time, I have detained the anguish for later, out of sheer fear. No more. These things are never supposed to be secret, Things to be loudly acclaimed. This two-faced dialogue with myself is drowning me. Pangs of jealousy, of sheer loss will always abound. It is hard to quell dreams I have fleshed myself, but I know I can change them. I am happy though that you deserve each other. If I nurtured the love, so be it.
We will get back in touch. For now, we need to go different ways. We each deserve the right to remember the world when each other never existed. Take in the new panorama. I have tried and trust me it is not that bad.
Hope, I will gratify myself with the hope of finding someone better. Probably she is just round the corner. It is not that hard to dream. And for now, my dreams keep me company. Reaching out to the world that I live in, but that I know does not exist.
Like Mr Fenn says, “You can learn to love almost anybody. All it takes is the decision!”

But yeah, you do not know what you got till it’s gone.

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Bangalore ahoy !!!

The next chapter of my life moves to Bangalore. Will begin work soon in an HR consultancy there.. but before all this, need to zero in on the den.



Bangalore is one of those places where finding a home is as easy as pie, courtesy the insane number of software professionals working there. I'll hit bangalore sometime this week hoping to find a 3 bhk apartment, fully furnished somewhere near Frazer town for around 15k.



"Dude, I have one for now for around 17k."

"17K!!!!! thats a little too much, don't you think??"

"But split 2 ways??"

"Hmmm... fair enough, considering we can afford to spend so much now"

"Cooke town, Puravankara, swimming pool, Tennis court and the likes"

"Go on.. .its sounding better now"

"3 kms to where u work and 5 kms to my office"



"Can we keep a labrador? A black one?"

"Who takes it for the poo poo? and worse... what if it does it all over the room"

"What about a day care centre for the puppy?"

"Hmmm.. worth a look. There should be one right? considering its Bangalore"



"Forget that. What about the maid?"

"I'll bring a chottu from Mirzapur. He'll stay alright"

"Mirzapur??? In bangalore, There is a system of a cook coming in the morning to get your grub ready."

"Theek hai. So I tell mom to stop looking for chottu??"



"Thats like almost 2 lakhs in advance. We don't have that much money. We'll get a CLA from the company. Don't worry!!! Trust me, I've lived in Blore for 4 years before XL"

"Chup be...the old man paid for it then."

"4 bedroom penthouse in malleswaram for 12k.. those were the rates back then. It could not have gone much higher....."



Will know soon...meanwhile, I'll continue plotting the way to office on google maps.

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Now that the Yearbook is out...

I would like to make some clarifications, now that the yearbook is out.

The yearbook looks good in real. There have been a lot of work put in the yearbook and lot of work discredited as well.

Just to get down to more specifics. More Courtesies and credits.

The Photos on the Front Cover - Vishesh Puvadi
Brilliant shots of the academic block (aka Learning centre) taken by Vish from his room. There were several brilliant pictures of XLRI in his collection. Of the lot, it was a mutual agreement between us that these 4 deserved the cover in that, it captured fleeting moments of our stay at XL.

Negotiations with the Printer - Tuhin Jain :)
After..... all the hard work on the soft copy. There was still the small issue of getting the hard copy made. Fortunately our maxi chief held a lot of goodwill with Mr Krishna, and was able to pull off a brilliant piece of negotiation to get the entire yearbook done in colour for around 75% of the initial quotation. It might not sound like much. But folks, remember we are dealing in lakhs here.

300 Character limit - Sunil Koul
Our very in house Java god helped me out with nifty coding to put in the 300 character limit on the comments box in the yearbook site. Some of you went the extra distance to hack the system. If you did, Congrats and remember next time you might not be so lucky !!! :)

Collages - Hrishikesh Godbole
Our man was responsible for the beautiful collages in the yearbook (Between both sections) I would like to apologize as well here, as there were 4 more which did not make it to the yearbook. There was a lot of confusion in the last week of making the yearbook that we lost track of four of the collages he had made. It took him an entire night to make the collages.

Committee Writeups and Photos Collation - Arjun Srinivasan and Naqi Abbas
During the last week of compilation. The work piled on us from all sides. And we were sent help in the form of Arjun and Naqi who went about bringing order to the chaos. Scouting the huge database for photographs, articles and classifying them in order. It required several buzzes from their side to get some lazy Secys to send in their committee articles and photos.

Signature Hunting - Ashish Agnihotri
We were in need of signatures for getting the funding from the caution deposit. Agnihotri came forward to scout around collecting signatures from the junta in GH-3. It might sound small but to us that day, he was a life saver.

*********************************

Things gone wrong

I would like to apologize on behalf of the yearbook team for any of the following errors.

• Comments not being printed in the ranked order
  
• AIS photo being put up in profiles (We tried hard to squeeze in time for shooting the better ones, but we had a manpower and time crunch)
  
• Lack of enough collages in the yearbook. (As mentioned earlier, we lost them in the crowd of pictures.)

The descriptions were supposed to be a fun read. There could be some who found it offending or rather impossible to show it to their parents. Our apologies to them as well.

**********************************

Diplomacy? Hmmmm.... Nope... Hippocracy rather

In the future will watch out for being too diplomatic.

The sooner u let the other person know, the sooner and better he/she understands what you think. Diplomacy is understood as acceptance. The desire to appear nice and courteous is often mistaken, which can be a dangerous thing.

For example, never be diplomatic about

• Your teammate fraxing away to glory (Tough one)
• Friends not paying you back on time :-))
  
• Your girlfriend flirting with the colleague from office :-)
• Your boss showing differential treatment
  

These things can build to one overwhelming mass knocking everything in its path.

There is a very thin line being being diplomatic and being Hippocratic. sometimes its not worth taking the risk, blast it all out. Atleast you don't leave the other person guessing and you don't regret the missed opportunity later. Lets just say Truth sometimes stinks.

The Yearbook Fiasco

Working on the yearbook has been a frustrating experience. I'm glad it's over or is it??. Let me not be diplomatic about it, it was shitty work and I have begun to loathe it.

A kaleidoscope of memories which has stamped the frustration deep in.

*********************

"What is your justification in a core committee?"
"Why not?"
"Because there was never a core committee.....There's no one who's stuck till the end!!!!"

*********************

"I wish he had helped me in the beginning. I've called him so many times."
"He told me that he'd wanted to be on the core team right from the beginning. What was the justification for not taking him anyway?"
"He was in the design team right from the beginning!!!!!"
"Come on.. Its only natural... anyone would want to be on the core committee..."
"but... I have consulted him on all design issues..."
"Still come on... who wouldn't want to be part of the core committee...."

**********************

"The CD... I ll take care of it.. I've taken responsibility right???"....


**********************

"Ek ghar mein dho yearbook kyun?"

**********************

"Yeah... we have the money. If you reach jampot, we'll be able to give a hard copy. The printer needs a maximum of 10 days. We ll ask him if he can do it in a week. It should be possible. Meanwhile you reach jampot....."

**********************

Learnings
The economics of the yearbook. Friends can turn enemies just because they have a better incentive. Worse when they turn to emotional means of coaxing you to work.

Its not only passion that drives work, a certain amount of responsibility chips in. There have been numerous occasions where I have settled for the Softcopy.

***********************

Yet despite all this... there are some who go the extra distance to help you out. I would like to mention Tuhin and many others in this regard, who helped without much of an incentive, just the pleasure of carrying memories home. God bless.

But yes........... The "credits" page "means" a lot.

p.s.
I think finally the printer guy deserves a two page ad in the yearbook. He might end up shelling 30 k from his own pocket because the batch of 2007 decided to save some money for the "lean" times ahead of them.

Yes... A charity show to aid the cause of to-be corporate managers.
I know my blog is not much read.. but here goes.... Heres to you Mr Krishna

Goel Printers (9431180077)