Tuesday, December 13, 2005

A tribute to Sir Percy Blakeney...

I am an engineer. Confident about what I know, and simply not bothered bout the rest. I don’t believe in volume. Volume is good for Music. When it comes to my trap, the lower the better. I know what I m doing. I know why I do it. If the others go flabbergasted about why I did something the way I did it, its their problem.

I take responsibility. Responsibility which I have been entrusted with. Responsibility which I have taken up. I don’t believe in blaming others. Come to think of it. I advise ….only….if and only if the other is not wise to learn it on his own. In short, I think of solutions, Solutions to the madness around.

If people don’t want my solutions…. That’s again… their problem. I have nothing to lose. A share of the limelight has never been on the “To grab” list for me.

Some of the reasons, which have kept me away from Class Participation, the phenomenon that’s the rage of the season. The fight to see who can be the loudest. They are awarded marks for that!!! Somehow leaves me astounded…… marks for volume in class… Now what kind of pedagogy is that?

I don’t mind being a sucker. Like I said, I know what I m. The others view aint my problem. It is quite a life. Being the sucker, has its share of fun… in fact more.. than its share. Carrying it with me will be the hard part. A tribute to Sir Percy Blakeney.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

To Home with Love...

Right now I am sitting in front of my comp in Room No 132, GH3, XLRI School of Management. Multitude of thoughts running through my head. “Fight the fear, life is bigger than all the tiny failures……..…still”
There are things out there beyond the thought process. There is God; there is the multitude of angels, constantly being sent out to carry out his mysterious deeds. Then there is family.
The day is a Wednesday. Its placement season here. I have applied to almost all companies that have hit the campus. The whole day’s been scary. Shortlist after shortlist hitting the notice boards, none carrying my appellation. I expected to make it to a few, some of them really low on my pecking order (List of choices). The falls really shaken me…
I remember my last year in college, when I was placed in the first company that hit campus. Never did I realise the pain which the others who were yet to get placed went through. The pain of not getting into a company for a long time. The pain of facing rejections day after day. The doubts running through your head. The wild speculations. People all around talking of facing interviews and you not even being given the ticket to watch it. Joining a conversation to only realise later that you have nothing to contribute. Sitting alone in your room contemplating. Looking at people make the whole process seem like Childs play. Wondering what went wrong on ur side.

I have been going through something similar today. You smile on the outside, but inside it stings, stings sharp. Every word is thought over twice. Other people wary of hurting my ego, watching their words. Why the change overnight? Should I even have applied to these companies?
Then you get the call….. Home. “Why do u sound so worried?” ”Everything will turn out alright” “We’ll pray for you”….. There are times that one gets so full of himself that when he hits the trough…he finds himself all alone. Bless u dad for being when I most needed you…. Bless u mom for being that angel from god, bless u bro for cutting out the jungle in front of me….bless u Joe for making me feel responsible… and Varkeychaya.... Keep doing the Tango!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Of Pigeons and Statues...

I’ve always had roles around me who stand out in my memory. Of the lot, one of the most prominent would be Mr. Witty, who thrives on the happiness of others.  He takes every possible opportunity to ridicule the other. Every chance, to bring out the satire. It could be imitation or plain verbal abuse. In most cases, he has his own loyal following who laugh at his every “joke”. Who seem to have the time of their lives. A common strand running through this true hearted group is one, their poor sense of humour, and two, their very poor sense of humour.
     I could never stand Mr Witty And as far as I know, the best strategy for confronting him is not confronting him. Avoidance. He can always take your case, be it your best day, and (God have mercy on you!) your worst! What they don’t realise is the fact that it is not because of ignorance that he is not being hurled revilements in return, but because of decency. The refusal to go down to Mr Witty’s modus operandi. In most cases, Mr Witty never realises this and it often takes a good, brave friend to enlighten him.
     Mr Witty is a role and not a character. All of us have been him at some point of our lives. Some of us are/were lucky to get a brave friend to tell us. I, for one, am one of them. Owe a lot to these friends of mine, for telling me how irritating I could get. Seriously a lot.
     Sometimes ridicule is good. It helps in the team building process. As a matter of policy, I don’t take the case of someone for something he/she can’t change. You really have to be in the other persons shoe to feel the desperation, to feel the pain. To know, that you can’t do anything about it and you are stuck with it for life. Physical attributes for one. I, myself, have been in similar positions plenty of times. Target of friends and family.
     There have been moments. In the case of my younger bro, for instance, I would have just come up with the most irritating line. Then realise how I felt when my brother did that to me. And retrace.
     Sometimes u get to be the pigeon and sometimes ………..u are the statue.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Quants and Music...

I decided on my QT project finally….. Music. I initially suggested the correlation between the heights of bball players and their performance on court. It met with outright rejection. Right now in XLRI, I m identified with bball and the band. I’m fine. I enjoy both.  The different keys used by composers?  I, frankly don’t have a clue how I m gonna do it. I’ve kept myself furlongs away from music theory. I’ve always had the ear for a good song or composition. And yes, can find out if somebody goes out of key. But that’s about it.
This is going to be one learning experience and yes, lots of music. Think its time to start tapping to the rhythm again.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Bumpy Ride Ahead !!

We have a hectic week ahead. Loads of submissions and projects to complete. The whole class is totally freaked out. Hmm… that includes me. We are trying not to think of the days to come. We'll wait. Wait for it to hit us. Right now, there’s just one plan. Think of one project at a time. So far, so good. Pray is gonna hit me hard. I can almost feel the blow coming. I’m wearing all protection now and trying to make it as soft as possible.
I’ll survive …

Friday, August 19, 2005

Never was learning so interesting.......

I ve never found learning as interestin... i dont remember the last time. But i m beginning to enjoy the stuff i do out here. I ve always found a reason to hate the stuff i do. Education is supposed to help u realise who you are...

Right now...Its Nirvana, I m there. This is education !!

"The four most frequent and common divisions of birth order are first borns, middle borns, last borns, and only child. The following are the overall general characteristics that Adler states for each division of birth order. Parents have more time and attention to devote to their first child and tend to be more cautious, indulgent, and protective. For a while, the first born has no other siblings to compete with and only adult role models around the home to copy. However, when a sibling is born the first born has the desire to maintain their privileged position with their parents. These children are more likely to score high on intelligent tests, be highly motivated, and have a high need for achievement. Other frequent characteristics include vulnerability to stress, dependency on approval of others, task orientation, and assertiveness.

The middle child or second born will strive harder and will often compete to take over the position of the first born. Middle children will usually compete in areas other than those in which the first born is accomplished, Adler calls this phenomenon the "teeter-totter principle." Research indicates that middle children are sensitive to injustices, unfairness, and feelings of being wrong. Middle children are able to work well in teams, relate well to older and younger people, and are able to maintain good relationships. Out of any of the other categories, these children are the most trusting and the most willing to respect opinions of others.

The youngest child is considered the baby of the family and will never be dethroned. This child tends to be spoiled by parents and other siblings. The result of this is a sense of security and having a noncompetitive nature. " The youngest child tends to be the most powerful in the family, resorting to the aggressive acting out which Adler calls the passive methods such as shyness, cuteness, or inadequacy." (Encyclopedia of Psychology, pg. 155) These children develop a lighter side to their personalities and are fun loving. Out of all the birth positions, the youngest tends to have the highest self-esteem and to be best liked."

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Life after Coimbatore....

Well.... Long time since i blogged.... i m in jamshedpur now... the home of the Tatas... i m pursuing "higher education"..... the flood of memories have begun to hit me.. a new one everyday... I started the day all pumped up....ready to take on the world .... lot of challenges ahead of u... right now... its bout 7 in the evening . here.... I ve been KOed.... down in the ring ... waiting for my coach to throw in the towel...
Hmmm... Its 9.45 now in the night.... the mess served pulao today.....(seriously how can they call it that ?) ..... A lot has changed after the above para.... i m all up and ready to take on the world once... again...... what happened in between? Read this blog of a friend of mine...(Seb .... owe a lot to you !!!) Hes having a hard time too, from what he wrote... It always perks me up when i realize there are people struggling to climb out of the rut caused by life running over them.... what do u call it? empathy?...No........Sadistic pleasure?...No...... rather the comfort knowing that.... u have company facing the crap...that u r not alone, in this struggle called life..

So this is what it takes. A blog from halfway across the country to get u up on your feet and running again. Set the schedule for the night. Yes, its still young. My neighbours are preparing for the upcoming elections. I m the only one stuck with preparing for the quiz coming Monday. Suddenly feeling very independant and in control of life.

I miss the slow lane....

Sunday, May 29, 2005

A highway experience....

Just got back from trissur today, the "culture capital" of kerala. That's how my mom puts it. For the simple reason of she having her roots there. Anyway, took my bros palio. We took turns driving. Touched palghat, bro took a gulp of cola.
"Here saji, take the wheel !"
whoa, it was just me and the road. a few minutes down the road, and bro was sleeping like a log. My mom was too absorbed in thought to make a sound. Now some truth behind the pretty picture. My bro aint that bothered bout my driving. My mom, well, she sort of became stoic after all those trips to cochin with me behind the wheel of an even more powerful machine.

60...........70........80.........overdrive.....90.....100...... saw a vehicle up front...slowed down...4th gear......kept tailing him for some time....relaxing....back in the slow lane.............

PAAAAMMMM..... glanced right to see a van.. Green one ... Didn't know where he was going...coz i could see another vehicle right in front of me.

"Get Off. I am freaked out !!!"

He seemed to be screaming. Cant blame them. They spend days on the road.... They, very naturally, get freaked out. Had to give way. My mom rudely woken up from her train of thought, started advising. "EDA, VAZHI VIDU" (Give way)...... I had to oblige............
But me being the brat with a hurt ego. Had to reply.(what was all that talk bout driving on the slow lane?... Sorry .... But had to follow my gut instincts then, who knows, all that inbuilt anger could have turned me into a marauding manslayer!!!) Lowered my gear, can hear the engine roaring (Now that's meat !!) overtook the man-of-peace in front. Guilt all over. But still... Focused on the task at hand.... i had to reply. Driving the smaller car helped. Can see the barricades up ahead. a common sight on Indian "Highways"..( They serve a good cause i must say....for people keen on replying to green maniacs )..

he slowed down... With me right behind him...went through the two barricades... Yeah.. That's when i made my move.... Naturally the smaller vehicle had better acceleration.....stepped on the gas....Could feel the green maniac desperately trying to speed up...overtook him .... from then there was no looking back.....drove a Km or two.. glanced at the rearview mirror.....no sign of him....... i could feel the sly grin cross my face...

"yeah? sorry pal.......I 'M FREAKED OUT TOO....."

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Checking out W.Bloggar v4.00

I cant afford to stay online all the time. Blogging is to me an instantaneous, on the spur of the moment thing. You cant write a blog anytime u want. has to be spontaneous. Thus began my hunt for the offline blogging tool... downloaded W.bloggar... lets c if it works..

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Goodbye sweet home Coimbatore city !!

Will be leaving coimbatore in about two weeks. Quite a depressing thought to entertain. waiting for the huge wave of memories to hit me. Coimbatore was life. May you always grow this slow. Let not the world chase you down the busy boulevard of dreams. You always had the answer. You made my day for 22 years.
There are so many more to follow in these same rugged sidewalks. I 've loved every crack in them. Can say they will love it too. Cause perfection rarely creates memories. And these memories are one I'll treasure for a long time to come. The midnight walks. The Under-tree-outside-house conferences, forest college, Sweet Saibaba colony ! Every nook, every corner, a piece of me. A part so sweet to leave behind.
Will keep coming back to you. To relive these great memories and take with me some more. So here's to coimbatore city, my world for 22 years. Here's to you, to stay the same, to keep telling the world, "Yeah? It can be like this too !!!"

Monday, May 23, 2005

The Road Not Taken. Frost, Robert. 1920. Mountain Interval

Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.

1. The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 20

Friday, April 15, 2005

The Coimbatore Meet !

Had a very normal day today... had the coimbatore 'meet' of XLRI2005-07 today.. I guess... the way the delhi people went about it.... a very nice place... met her face to face for the first time... .. had some pleasant conversation.... met her parents too ... both working .. integrating security systems ..

had a little trouble finding her place though. her directions were right. i sumhow, read them wrong, i guess. to validate my stance anybody living in saibaba colony for 22 yrs.. would have done the same thing. its one of those things, where everyone says the right things, but still ends up wrong.

saw a "beware of dogs" sign on the gate.. looked out for the dog.. didnt find any... took the bold first step in.. expecting the dog to leap out of the bushes there... the place remained quite though

approached the door.. saw the first signs of security systems there.. searched for the bell.... it was a small box which also had a video cam.... she opened the door... felt at ease immediately...had trivial conversation for some time... realised that she struggled with her mother tongue too....

met her dad at the end of the 'meet'.. got a detailed description of the route taken by the bokaro.... thankful for that... there were some people waiting to see him.. so made a quick courteous exit... we decided to wind up the 'meet' there....

went to college in the afternoon. while my batchmates pondered over the program, i sat idling away at the comp, taking up precious bandwidth. otherwise achieving very little. finished up a favour for the rep... 2 sadas at famous and i was on my way home.....

tried going through some investment brochures....Hmm...wasnt in the right mood for that.. gave up on it... will do some study tmw... and hopefully this blog will continue....